I’m so tired of being lied to. As if I don’t have a human heart and emotions? As if lies won’t hurt me like they hurt everyone else? As if because I’m so God loving, I’m stronger than others? No, wrong. I consider myself weaker than others, my self esteem being below the scale somewhere in the negative integers. Why? Because I’m lied to so much, I don’t know what’s true or fake anymore! Besides that, my mothers been messed up all week, I got left, ran in to my ex at the mall, got replaced, have had excruciating stomach cramps, went to church, fought with people, and tried to delete again

Okay seriously like really some best friend you are. What the hell do you think? That I don’t check my tumblr or whatever? Wrong! Ugh, it’s all good because I’m really fed up with you, your mood swings, and your little replacement acts. I really want Ashlynn right now and I have like no clue where she is and I’m just upset/in a bland mood. My birthday completely sucked, because no one really remembered it. That’s how my whole life is, no one remembers me. It’s all good though, God will pull me through, whether I like what happens during the journey or not.

Yesterday I basically went everywhere in the city I live to look for a birthday outfit and actually ended up crying when I didn’t find not one thing. I got a pair of flip flops and shorts, but eh. I’m going back shopping tomorrow so maybe I’ll have more luck. My boyfriends coming over soon, so I have to make this sick. I’m reading one of my friends tumblr updates and it’s sad how I swear she’s talking about me. I’ll pray for you, no worries. Hmph, birthday is in two days, peace out!

I haven’t updated this like I said I would, but I haven’t really been as happy as I should usually be, either. My boyfriend in real life is giving me ton of extra things to worry about when I clearly have enough on my hands as is. My birthday in real and also on roleplay is Sunday, and all of this worry isn’t exactly a present I planned to have, but it seems to happen every year so I’ll stop complaining. Basically I’m excited for my youth group meeting tomorrow, that’s it. Other than that I’ve been running, laying outside, working out, eating, sleeping, and doing the usual. My summer so far is pointless, I’m so nervous to be a freshman this year. Bleh, I don’t know what else to say. Here’s for another boring journal entry for no one to read!